she's 4

apparently she went to boingo bounce with anders last year.  while we were in ukraine, our dear friends who took care of hazel & anders while we were bringing lena home took them to jump indoors on a cold winter day.
and hazel loved it.
and hazel is amazing with directions, so for the first month we were home & drove anywhere near boingo bounce, she'd point & say "boingo bounce is over there! can we go?!"
to which i would explain that boingo bounce is for a special occasion like mommy & daddy being gone for 6 weeks or something like a birthday.
so for the last 8 months she'd point & say "boingo bounce is over there, it's where i'm having my birfday"
then for the last 2 months it has been "boingo bounce is over there, it's where i'm having my giraffe birfday party"
so hazel turned four on sunday.

and in my head i picture her a lot like this::

but she actually looks like this::

she was born into sadness... when we told folks we were pregnant with hazel they would sigh a relief, like finally they'll have a healthy baby.  that is not what we thought or how we felt.  we knew eliot's sibling wouldn't replace him or take away pain and hazel didn't do that.
she did, however, bring such sweet joy in the midst of deep heartache.  we always say that eliot taught us how joy & pain are side by side and not separate from each other.  hazel taught us that too.
on october 14, 2008, hazel was born in the same hospital as her big brother with the same doctor delivering her and a lot of the same hospital staff and many of the same friends & family gathered in the hallways.  tears of deep joy were shed and i remember how the hospital smelled and that "how great is our God" was playing as she was born and how focused & smart she looked from those first few moments, deliberately putting her fingers in her mouth.

and now she is four and a lot of life has happened in the mooney house in those 4 years and she has handled each transition with the maturity and grace of not many adults.  i am so proud of her i could burst.  she is her own person and i love that.
i want to remember what she was like when she turned four.  i want to remember that she can sing every work to "wake up" by all sons & daughters, but that she does it in adele style.  and i want to remember that the day after she turned four, i put her to bed & lay there with her in the quiet, waiting for her to talk.  and when she did, she really talked about something on her heart.  and when she was done & i had listened, i want to always remember the way that 4 year old looked at me and said "i love you, mom" because, that girl...she just wants to be heard.
a friend wanted to know what she was into lately so they could get her a gift.  and i want to remember what i texted back::
she says her favorite colors are pink and purple and black and blue.  she really is into everything.  she likes princesses & regularly let you know she is one, but she also loves cheerleaders & pretends she's an old lady & says she's gonna play soccer.  she likes movies, but loves books. she picks her own clothes out every single day and some days she looks like a hobo (a beautifully gorgeous hobo) and others she looks so chic and cool.  i can't get her to wear the simple hipster grey v-neck i bought her, but if it were cold enough, she'd wear the ridiculous black leather jacket josh got her every day.  she loves cake or cookies, but her preschool teachers were amazed that she ate her salad for lunch the other day.  she loves anything artsy/crafty and she loves letters, especially writing her name...not just hazel but h-a-z-e-l-m-o-o-n-e-y.  she didn't really recognize the letter "x" when they were checking her eyes at the doc the other day & she kept looking at me like it was all my fault that i hadn't taught her that letter yet.

and, yes, i texted that whole thing.  lesson learned:: don't ask ginny about her kids over text.

 she got to open one gift in bed and then she got to open one per hour for the next few hours.  matt set up post it notes of the time on the table & one gift behind each post-it.  when it got to be the time on the post-it, she could open that one or do a trade.  she loves games so she loved it.

found this vintage giraffe book on etsy.

she was enthralled.

the next day on the way to her party...she's a little excited:)

little set up.

a few weeks ago our friend simeon had a birthday party.  his mom, ashley, made a chocolate cake with his name made out of the same chocolate frosting.  hazel decided she wanted that exact same cake (it is ridiculously delicious), but instead of "simeon" on it, she wanted "h-a-z-e-l-m-o-o-n-e-y".

 bouncing.

the crew of friends...i am not sure how anyone can get a group of kids to smile? obviously that is not a talent i possess.

hazel helping decorate.

kids coloring. matt filming.

and lastly...not a clear pic, but you can clearly see what hazel thinks of her cake:)