miracle

webster's dictionary's full definition of the word miracle is...
1 :  an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs
2 : an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment

well done, webster, well done.  i just love that definition.  when we took our little family on vacation a few weeks ago, the word miracle kept coming up when matt and i would talk about what we were in the midst of.  we would make eyes across a restaurant dinner table that silently said to each other "what is happening?! how are we doing this??!"
we were right in the middle of an extremely outstanding and unusual event, thing, accomplishment. 

sometimes a backstory is pretty important in understanding the intensity of a miracle.  if i just tell you that i went out and ran 4 miles...great, no big deal, gold star for getting the heart pumping.  but if i tell you that i am 18 months post back surgery and i never thought i'd run again and the only way i can run is by doing lots of safe-for-my-back-core-exercises 500 times a week and then i can maybe run.  when you know that backstory, then, the 4 mile run i tell you about becomes a lot more unusual and outstanding.
below is a specific photograph.  (i may or may not have just rummaged through a gazillon unorganized digital pictures that i have stored successfully in about 15 places because i don't understand clouds or, for that matter, any form of technology at all.  i am worse than your grandmother, i promise.)

this picture is just a little snapshot of a backstory.  it was included in a text thread between matt and i approximately 1 year prior to this glorious spring break trip we just took. 

 our texting looked like this:

matt--

how was the ENT appointment?

me-- 

send picture

this picture is just the most regular thing i could find.  it is not dramatic or anything sad, i can not express how not big of a deal it is to our lives in any way.  i wasn't even sweating.  but let me try to explain for the bigger scope of things.

in the picture above, spring 2015, we are in the very full waiting room of a doctor's office.  i ask lena to do something simple and mundane, maybe something like "let's sit down".  she doesn't like an unfamiliar place, she doesn't like me telling her what to do, she doesn't like sitting. when you don't have words to forcefully say "NO" and you are as smart as lena, you figure out another way to express the sentiment.  so she fell to the floor on purpose to protest the current situation.  at which point, a few, every head turns.  

now, i am not extremely good at a lot of things in my life....kind of a jack of all trades and ace of nothing type person.  which is fine, i'm happy with this fact about myself.  however, when it comes to lena's behaviors, interpreting what she is expressing with the behavior and responding in a way that hopefully she can learn a new and appropriate way to express herself...i'm sort of an ace.  i mean, not 100% of the time.  but it's a tricky little mom life full of behavior planning and i have had a lot of practice over the last 2 years.  

so, back to the waiting room.  i do nothing.  every head turns, people look at me like i'm rude or oblivious to the child rolling on the floor... but i have a plan and even when surrounded by confused strangers, i stick with that plan with the intensity of an olympic athlete.  i give lena ZERO recognition for the scene and say the exact same thing in the exact same tone as before. "let's sit down". and i wait on her to get her own self up off the floor and actually sit down.  

sometimes i feel like a behavior ninja.  

also, how great is anders' face.... it says "lena's on the floor again, but why would you take a picture of it?  nothing to see here"

this snapshot into 4 minutes of regular life is your backstory.  it's the backstory that makes traveling with all 5 of us across the country to phoenix, to the grand canyon, to sedona, going through airports and in and out of the rental car and different hotels and times to walk and times to sit and times where there is tons of background noise and times of silence and a lot of heat and then a lot of cold....it is this backstory that makes the trip such a miracle.  extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment.

she did it. lena did it and did great.  there were some tears, there were some frustrations but the most remarkable thing to me in all of it is that lena did not just endure it.  she enjoyed it.  like, really enjoyed it as much as hazel and anders did.  and hazel and anders...sweet loves... i swell with pride. they were grateful and fun and patient with their sister but also just with the ins and outs of traveling. the whole stinkin' thing was such a gift.

i still think "what in the world just happened?"... and when we got back, matt and i were still in awe. (( we talk about it here ))

now is where i try to put in a few vacation pics, but end up putting way more than a few. 

getting there 

visiting new beautiful baby bailey

desert botanical gardens

 hiking piestewa peak in phoenix

 montezuma castle on our way from phoenix to williams, az

train ride and day at the grand canyon

sedona, arizona