first, there's the typical sending-your-kid-to-school-for-the-first-time thing. they've been with you and you've been their main teacher and then, just like that you drop them off.
every.
single.
day.
and i miss her. i really miss her when she's gone.
and another layer is that we fought so hard to bring her here. we go through hoops and hoops of paperwork and go across the globe to bring her near. then i just drop her off somewhere? that feels weird.
another one for lena is that she has been not just home, but with me...a lot. i have fed her, changed her, done really everything with her and for her. in the early days it would take her up to an hour to eat because she was just learning to use her mouth. encompassed in nearly every moment of the last year and 8 months that she's been home with us, is teaching her and teaching her. i have fought for her to feel safe and loved. i have fought with her on this, in our own way. we communicate in ways others don't really know. a friend one time told me it looked like we had our own language.
because this little girl. who no one knew for so long, i fought to know her. and in all the mystery that remains, i understand her. i just get her because i have studied her for so long now.
when we met with her teachers on the friday before she started on a monday, i was a complete mess. psycho-copter-mom is an understatement. and by the grace of God Most High, i refrained. from spilling my guts onto these innocent teachers and telling them every infinitesimal in and out of Lena. because, they will get the joy of learning for themselves. and she will learn from them, that she can learn. that she is capable and strong and smart.
**side note about the school:: lena is enrolled in the nwa center for autism and developmental delay's (CADD) 1-on-1 program. both her neurologist and neuropsychiatrist had told us in the last year that when it came time for lena to go to school, having a type of learning called ABA, Applied Behavior Analysis, would be crucial for her. this type of learning addresses behaviors which inhibit learning (huge for lena) and has a systematic and organized way of learning that is supposedly great for the ins & outs of the way lena's brain works. it was a huge decision to send her here for her first year and we are excited for how this school will be a part of how God wants to grow and mold lena into who He made her to be.
and i am so proud of her. another layer of emotion. such a proud momma. a child may walk bravely into their first day of school. but there's just more to the story with this girl. it take more bravery and courage for her to do the things you and i just do without thinking.
also, in those early days of lena being home, i held her. i carried that tiny frame everywhere. eventually she crawled and then walked. and last monday, she walked herself into that school.
beautiful miracle.
while it doesn't take her an hour to eat anymore, most everything takes longer with lena than with normal developing children. so i wake her up each morning at 6:30 to eat breakfast. on the first day, she had her favorite:: fried eggs and fresh tomatoes. she's the healthiest eater in our family.
hazel hugging her goodbye...Lena not knowing what the big deal is:)
walking to the car.
so as not to make the biggest scene in the world at drop-off, i had my little moments with her right when we got out of the car.
kissing dad goodbye. so much sweetness.
walking in.
meeting her first teacher. she will rotate time with 6 different ones, but only 3 in the course of one day.
scoping out the gross motor area.
taking off down the hallway to her room.
her whole first week went great. they are not asking a lot of lena yet, because they are getting her used to the therapists/teachers that will be working with her, assessing her, observing behaviors (she is currently doing a lot of head hitting when she is overwhelmed or when she doesn't want to be a part of what we are asking her to do), and figuring out what things she likes so they can use these as reinforcers. we get a sheet everyday with info about lena's day and almost every day they have said how great she has done using her signs with them. yeah for ms amy!! (lena's amazing speech therapist that has worked tireless with her since she came home!!)
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